The more I get into blogging, especially “mommy” blogging, the more I see something that terrifies me. Okay, maybe terrifies isn’t the right word, but this activity makes me very uncomfortable, to say the least.
Do you share photos of your child online?
I’m talking about bloggers sharing large, detailed photographs of their children on their blogs. Does anyone else see the dangers in this? Aren’t we warned against posting our vacation schedules on social media to avoid inviting criminals to break into our houses when they know we are away? Haven’t we been told that once something is posted online, it is there forever? We’re all hearing about the dangers of posting pictures online!
I’m not sharenting
As a blogger who has begun to monetize, I find my last name is associated with my blog more and more, and with that my location. Do I really need to be displaying photographs of my child in addition to that? I say No.
As I expand my work with brands and understand the need to include photographs in product reviews, I see how often the request specifies including photos of the child using the product directly. I’ve avoided signing up for many of those opportunities for just this reason, and where I have participated, I have done my best to obscure his face in the pictures I post.
The need to protect my baby is fierce; sharing photos in a public setting exposes him, and on the internet anything is possible. It is easy enough to find my last name and location if you know where to look, so the last thing I need is for someone finding detailed photographs wanting to ‘nap my kid.
You won’t see me posting photos of my baby here unless his face is mostly hidden. The same thing applies to public social media accounts – no photos of my baby have been shared on my public Twitter or Instagram. I only share photos on my private Facebook profile to share them with friends and family who live far away – that is my one exception to the social media rule.
Posting pictures of children without consent
Further, he will grow up and may want to have a social presence of his own. Will my future teenager really want to find out how public his life was as a baby? Likely not. I want to respect his privacy and need to make the safest decision on his behalf.
When he is old enough to get on social media, I plan to teach him the dangers of sharing too much and why certain things should not be shared publicly. He will learn what is alright to share and what information should be kept within the family or a smaller circle of friends. I hope I am successful in raising him to understand personal safety and privacy, but in the meantime, I need to teach by example.
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Deimile says
You bring up a great point here! I used to share the pictures of my kids only on Facebook as only friends and family can see them but now some of my IG posts include them too… It’s tough to run a mommy account without posting any photos of your kids. My hubs works with cloud security and when he came back from an even yesterday he told me once we give permission on the phone to access our microphone, what we speak is going out there constantly and based on that, we then start seeing ads on our phone with our interests etc. Technology is taking over and there is so much we are not privy to!
Julie says
Absolutely tough to run a mom blog without photos, but I do back or action while he’s doing something now that he’s older, so it’s still not a full face photo.
Rhonda Gales says
I think what a person shares is a personal choice. Many mom bloggers limit what they share and avoid first and last names of their children; however, the majority share their life. For those that do share, I know of none that have suffered any consequences as a result.
Amy Ngai says
You bring up a great point about the dangers of the internet. I too had reservations about putting up pictures of my kids but I found it difficult leaving them out of my blog when so much of what I write about is about them. I suppose its also because my blog is like my diary. I decided to I would be okay with sharing some of their picture since I don’t do that on my personal social media accounts. I have to say I am feeling more comfortable about doing it but I still try to be careful with what I decide to publish. Thanks for sharing. #ConfessionsLinkUp
Julie says
It is difficult when they are the subject of your blog, definitely. I think as long as we are mindful of what we post we should be just fine. Thanks Amy :)
Jules Ruud says
My blog would scare you. Granted, it is a personal blog that was always just intended for family to see, I share oh so many pictures. And while I do not make any money off my blog, I do add a watermark on my photos and am aware of the possible ramifications. It is a personal decision that I made after an extensive talk with my husband. I hope I never learn the hard way that it was the wrong choice. It’s not for everybody, but with family spread across the world, it is for us. Great points though and our need to be protective of our children should always be fierce. Thank you for sharing at #MommyMeetUpMondays!
Julie says
I agree, it is definitely a personal decision and there are many different actions we can take to keep privacy and security while sharing photos. Thanks Jules :)
Jenny says
It is scary. Whilst I clearly do it and have done for awhile I am very aware of what I put, no names, my last name is not affiliated with theirs or hubby’s nor our location I commonly say I am from the big city near us but its nowhere near us. lol I am trying to do myself to protect them and our private homes. It’s a tough line to draw. Good for you for sticking to something you believe it though. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme
Julie says
Glad you’re also taking measures to be safe, picking the closest big city is what I’m doing also. Thanks Jenny!
Heather says
I don’t post photos of my stepkids on m bloy either. I agree – it is out of respect for their privacy and while I am pretty public, this is MY thing – not theirs.
Heather says
**oops – I mean my blog.
Julie says
Exactly, it is our thing, not theirs (yet). Thanks Heather!
Kelly @ Mum-bo-Jumbo says
Hi Julie, this is a great point! I too am cautious about putting my son on my blog. 99% of the photos with him in it do not have a clear view of his face or are taken from behind. I think I have one photo with his face and at the time when I posted it, my husband expressed concern. This is a timely reminder and I am going to remove that photo. Thanks for highlighting the potential dangers, sometimes it is easy to think it won’t happen to me. Stopping by from Turn it Up Tuesday
Julie says
Thanks Kelly! We bloggers share so much already, so we need to remember to still be cautious. Glad you are also only sharing photos without a clear view of faces :)
Melissa Roy says
I, too, am very cautious of what images I put up of my children (I also use nicknames). I do use old photos of my kids’ faces, so long as it does not look like them currently and current pictures I try to cleverly obscure their faces or shoot the backs of their heads. I’ll admit I did post current pictures of my son when he was a newborn because I figured at that stage they grow so fast in a few weeks he’d be unrecognizable. So glad to see I’m not the only one!
Julie says
Ooh that’s a good idea to use older photos as long as they don’t look like that currently, as long as they wouldn’t mind it later. Glad to hear you have the same concerns as me :)
Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) says
I think that this is a nice way to protect your kids and your family. No posting of anything personal.
I do post photos on my blog. Mostly because of my family who lives far. Its my way of telling them as to whats going on esp to my son.
#sharewithme
Julie says
Ohh but you’re on LJ so there are privacy settings on that as well for friends-only viewing. But yes, sharing online is an important option to be able to keep up with family who lives far away.
Meredith says
I hear you! I try to post pictures of the kids from behind, or a profile where you can’t make out their facial features. Or use stock photos! You make some great points about privacy and safety. Thanks for linking up at the Manic Mondays blog hop!
Julie says
I gotta start using stock photos, that’s a great reminder. Thanks Meredith :)
Love From Clueless Mum says
I completely agree. My blog is something for me. I want to be able to share my feelings about parenting without exposing my child to embarrassment later on. While I’ve found the blogging community to be very supportive, it’s important to remember that we can’t control who accesses our blog content and we need to be aware of this before sharing details or photos. Like you, I wouldn’t want my child to look back as a teenager and find every single detail of their life documented. I’ve made the similar decision not to share my child’s name or detailed photos on my blog – well done for sticking to your principles even though it might sometimes mean missing out on opportunities to review products etc. #TwinklyTuesdays
Julie says
Yay, glad we’ve made the same decision on this one :) We do have to think of our children, not just about our own enjoyment of the blog. Thanks for stopping by!:)
Shannon @ Of The Hearth says
It is wise to be cautious. I’m glad you’ve made a decision that brings you peace.
I do share pictures of my little one. My husband and I discussed this before she was born. My husband works in IT Forensics. He preforms forensic exams on computers/smart phones/etc. that have been taken as evidence from individuals suspected of crimes. He has seen the worst of it–what criminals have access to and what they do.
He assures me that there really isn’t that much risk in posting pictures because there’s no real way to keep my little one’s images off line. If someone wants a picture of her, they’ll find a way to get it. Plus, with all the technology used in our society (security cameras, email, electronic medical records, etc.) so much about her is (without our permission/knowledge) out there and available to people who know how to get it. Unfortunate, but true.
Julie says
His job really does sound like an eye opener about what can happen and what is out there. You’re right though that if someone wants a photo and knows how to get around technology, they can get it and there’s nothing we can do about it. Thanks Shannon :)
Caro | The Twinkles Mama says
Each to their own at the end of the day — you do what you think is right.
I began writing my blog for my babies — I use it as an online diary — I record their milestones and I absolutely love the fact that I can look back over it and it gives such a detailed record of their lives so far. I have never shared anything I don’t feel comfortable with others knowing. Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk
Julie says
Definitely agree that we do what we feel is right and I think each of us has a different normal comfort level :) Thanks Caro!
Jenny @ Unremarkable Files says
Great post. I don’t share any photos of my kids that show their faces for the same reasons. I don’t worry as much about kidnapping as I do how their pictures could be used by anyone with an Internet connection for any purpose (including pedophiles, yuck.)
I’m also conscious of the fact that it’s their life and their pictures, not mine, and I’d rather err on the side of giving them too much privacy than not enough.
#mondayformoms
Julie says
Yes, exactly! The internet is full of scary people, and we don’t want them having easy access to our photos because who knows what they can do with them. I agree with erring on the side of caution :)
Rabia @TheLiebers says
I am okay with sharing pictures of my kids on social media and my blog. They are getting to the age that they will often ask me to post pictures. With that being said, if they ever request a picture not be posted, I always comply with that. If it could be construed as unflattering in any way, I don’t post it. And if other kids (not mine) are in it, I either ask parental permission or I crop them out. I am aware that other people don’t think the same way that I do, so I work hard to be considerate of that in posting things.
Julie says
I think it is great that you’re doing what works for you, and are considerate of other parents’ wishes. :)
Lindsey says
I agree with you, I also do not share any pictures of my children on my blog. My husband and I have also chosen to not share pictures of our children on our personal facebook pages as well. We just do not feel comfortable with exposing them to ‘world’ that way. Great post.
Julie says
Glad to hear it :) They’ll get exposed to the world soon enough anyway on their own.
Nicole says
I totally agree with this. There have been so many times I wished I could put pics of my kids up on my blog – knowing their little faces would make it so much better, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I have thought the same things: aside from safety issues, what about respecting their privacy in general? They deserve to get to make the decision as to where their photos are shown and they are not in a position to make that decision with a clear, sound mind yet, so better to not do it. Found you on the #TwinklyTuesday link up. Thanks for sharing!
Julie says
Yea I definitely understand the feeling. I do enjoy seeing the way other bloggers use photos so I know including photos in some of my posts would really help them shine. There’s always a trade off I guess :) Thanks for stopping by!
Kelsie says
This is definitely something to think about as I think about having kids someday and what that will look like in the blogging world. Safe to say, our world is a scary place. Thanks for sharing! #TwinklyTuesday
Julie says
Having kids in the day and age of blogging is definitely a whole new world ha. Thanks for stopping by!
Heather Johnson says
I am also careful about the photos that I share online, of my kids and otherwise. If I would not want the entire world to see a photo, I do not post it. I want to be careful, but I also do not want to hide away. The reality is now the online world.
Julie says
That’s a great way to think about it – if you don’t want the whole world to see it. Because that is the potential.
Caro | The Twinkles Mama says
I TOTALLY agree with you Heather. There is so much scare-mongering and anxiety surrounding the internet, these days, but to be honest — in the UK — the majority of child abuse is caused by people the child knows. Generally at home. Now THAT is a scary statistic.
sue says
My daughter was this way when her son was born 12 months ago. She asked everyone not to post photos on facebook. At the time I didn’t understand and you can imagine as a grandmother I wanted to show the world my beautiful grandson. I totally get it now and respect her wishes. We don’t know where in cyperspace posts end so we need to protect our children. Besides you can get a little over the ones that share every single thing the child does on a daily basis. Thanks for sharing at #AnythingGoes link up
Julie says
Yea I have that struggle with other people sharing my photos too. I can’t control their privacy settings like I can my own, but I feel bad not letting people share too. Social media is a delicate dance hah.
Cassie says
I agree with you. It is scary what people will do with photos of your child. I am very selective about what photos I share, and most of the time, I only share photos on my private facebook page for family that lives far away. I have my profile set to private so unless you are my friend, you cannot see my photos. Thanks for sharing and reminding us of this need to be even more protective these days.
Julie says
Yea I’m that way on my FB too – privacy settings so that photos are shown to friends only and public doesn’t see much of my profile (except things like Goodreads and the like).
Sandy Sandmeyer says
You’re so smart to be careful about sharing your baby on public forums. Thanks for reminding us of this at the #AnythingGoes Link Party.
Julie says
Thanks :)
Brandyn says
I agree with you, you can never be too cautious. Although I have shared a few photos of my child on my blog, I completely understand where you are coming from. It is the reason I am very selective about what I say about her, what pictures I use, and why I never use her name (or my real last name, for that matter!).
Thank you for sharing with us at #MommyMeetupMondays!
Julie says
Glad to hear that you are also being selective and cautious. How do you keep your last name safe and separate? Any time I have to sign up for anything to do with blogging they ask for my full name.
Brandyn says
I use a made-up name: “Blaze” as my last name for all my blogging stuff, unless whatever I’m signing up for is strict about using real names. I don’t sign up for those things unless it is clear that my last name won’t be revealed in public. I know it can all be tied to me in the end, but I try to keep that to a minimum.
Maria says
I do the same thing. I share pics of my daughter on social media and the blog, but never of her face, and hardly of her whole body either. It’s made for some creative photographs, but we’re getting by. My take on sharing her face is that she’s still so young. And yes there’s a huge potential for her to be on social media someday, but I’ll let her make that decision herself. I think of it this way: how would my 16 year old self feel about the whole world seeing my baby pictures–bathtime, feeding time, etc… included? It’s one thing to document my experiences as a mother and share it, but hers? That’s private, and until she’s old enough to give me consent of what to share (it’s her picture after all, and once it’s on the web, it’s there forever…), my readers won’t be seeing much of her face either.
Glad I found you on Manic Mondays blog hop. Thanks for sharing such a thoughtful post, Julie!
Julie says
You’re right that it does make an opportunity to learn some creative photography skills :) Glad to find another blogger going about this the more private way, thanks so much for finding my post and sharing your thoughts! :)
Keisha | The Girl Next Door is Black says
I think it’s wise to be concerned. I’ve seen some bloggers who write about their children only post photos that obscure their faces for the reasons you stated.
Julie says
I thikn that’s great that you’re seeing some bloggers doing this already. It is important to be safe and think about privacy since blogging is such a public hobby.
Kim says
I have posted maybe three times pictures of my kids in the past, but did not feel right about it after the last time I did, so not sure I will do it again. You are right…my oldest does not like anything about himself posted.
Julie says
I like how in the most recent post you just did their hands. That’s a great trick and gets the personal photo without the faces.
Crystal Wall says
One can never be too careful. Loved the post. I totally agree. I wouldn’t do it either. Thanks for sharing. I hope more people read this post. :-)
~Crystal
Julie says
Thanks Crystal! Glad to see some people agree with me and would do the same on their blogs.
Tara says
Good! I don’t understand when people do that. Thank you for sharing this. I’m pretty sure I would have been quite unhappy with my parents had they plastered my photos all over social media while I was growing up.
Julie says
Exactly, and I don’t even share photos of my parents unless they tell me it is ok.
Karie {Girl Going Country} says
Such a smart decision! So many people overshare, and being cautious to protect your baby is SO GOOD! Way to go, momma!
Julie says
Thanks Karie :) Yea, there is definitely an oversharing problem these days.