8 Tips for Finding Time for Self Care as a Busy Parent

As a working mom, you likely have many things to juggle on a day-to-day basis. The reality for working moms and working parents is that life is inherently busy, and scraping time together for rest and rejuvenation isn’t always feasible. That’s before you take into account the mom guilt you’re likely to experience having the audacity to put yourself first for even the smallest amount of time. So how do you even go about finding time for self care?

But in all likelihood, that small block of time you’re not dedicating to yourself is the one thing you might actually need. The space to stop and give yourself what you need to help you keep going is vital. Remember, you are the engine that keeps the family running. Draining your mental and physical energy isn’t going to be beneficial for anyone. It will not help you at work, nor will it help you at home when carrying out your parental duties.

But how can you find time to give back to yourself and practice self-care as a busy parent?

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Block Your Days Out

A great place to start when it comes to finding time for yourself as a busy parent is to identify what time you have and what is taking up your days. Whether you track each day or you track the entire week, sit down, go hour by hour, and look at all the activities you need to perform in your life. Include showering, toileting, meal prep, commuting, etc. Every single thing you do needs to go into this chart so you can see exactly what it is on you do and how your day looks because chances are you do this on autopilot and don’t really exactly how much you do on a daily basis.

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Identify Gaps

From here, you can easily identify any gaps you might have. It might be 10 minutes in the school pick line or 45 minutes sitting in the car during football practice. You might have a space for 30 minutes of an evening between chores and bed or a two-hour block every third Saturday while the kids are with grandparents, for example. Find free time, no matter how small, and know exactly what you have to work with.

Find Self-Care or Relaxing Activities

Next, you need to identify what you can or would like to do in these blocks of time. Do you want to nap, read a book, play an online pool game, go to the gym, get a manicure or haircut, get a massage, or engage in a hobby? Find what you want or need to do and what you can benefit from; shopping counts if you enjoy shopping, and see when and where you can fit it into your day.

You might need to get creative with your blocks of time and squeeze in small things where possible or make adaptations. For example, instead of reading a book, you could listen to an audiobook on your way home from work or on the drive to pick the kids up from school, maybe? Pinpoint what you want to do so you can add it to your schedule in the spaces you have spare.

Delegate

If you have the luxury of having another adult at home, grandparents who can help, a supportive friend, or an amazing childcare option, look at where you can delegate tasks from chores to childcare and use all the help you can get. If burnout is on the cards for you, roping others in to help ease the load from your plate can allow you to take some time out for yourself.

Be honest about needing some space to focus on your needs, be it an hour or an evening, and ask for help to free up this time and what you need to do. And don’t feel guilty; you need to be on top form for your family, and if you’re not, you are not going to be able to be the parent you want or need to be. So push away the mom guilt because there is nothing to be guilty about, and focus on you, even for a short amount of time, and put your needs first. 

Remember, by taking care of yourself, you’re setting a positive example for your kids, showing them that mommy or daddy are people with needs, and these needs need to be met just like their own.

Schedule It

Adding self-care activities to your calendar and treating them as seriously as you would any other appointment can not only give you something to look forward to but also allow you the opportunity to make alternative arrangements and really make the most of the time you allocate to whatever it is you want to do. Be it an afternoon nap, catching up with your favourite reality show, heading out to golf, or even a trip away, it needs to be committed to the schedule as a non-negotiable, and something you are able to do that does not change unless an absolute emergency crops up that scuppers your plans.

 

Start a Hobby

Hobbies aren’t just for kids, and if you’re busy ensuring they get to copious amounts of extracurricular activities, then why not add some in for yourself?

Maybe you embark on a new educational journey, it might be a one-hour college class per week? Or you can take up pickleball, for example, tennis or swimming, or take an art class, join a reading club, or do anything you wish. But hobbies are a great way to dedicate time to yourself and ensure you deliver much-needed self-care.

Set Boundaries

This is easier said than done. Enforcing healthy boundaries for your family, your spouse or partner, family members, workplaces and friends, etc, allows you to stop giving to others when there is nothing left or your reserves are seriously depleted. It’s a powerful tool that puts you in control of your time and energy.

When you have nothing left, or you’re being pulled in a million different directions, you need to learn to say no, express that you have enough on your plate, or have commitments you cannot change. Do not let others infringe their needs on the time you have allocated for yourself, or pile your plate higher simply because they know you won’t refuse them.

Whoever is crossing lines and ignoring boundaries, reinforce them to be firm and consistent and ensure that others know this isn’t something you’re willing to compromise and that no does actually mean no.

Screen Free

Take a little look at your cell phone and clock up how much time you spend online, be it checking emails, doom scrolling, or checking appointments and times of different activities. 

There are likely to be more hours logged online than you realise. If you’re struggling for downtime and finding time in your day to relax, chances are you can steal some time from your online activities. If you’re raking up hours online, then putting the devices down and going screen-free allows you to find free time to use for more effective purposes. Even just putting your cell phone down for an hour or putting it away at bedtime can be beneficial and allow you to do other things that benefit you instead. 

It’s not always easy to find the time to relax as a busy parent. When you have a job and a busy life, allocating your time just for you might seem like a selfish endeavour. However, it is needed to make you a priority in your life, not just those around you.