The societal construction of motherhood often leads us to believe that we should love every second of it and pursue an impossible standard of perfection. Much of this can be attributed to common myths that are making motherhood miserable for a lot of women out there. Unfortunately, those myths have the power to control us and give rise to false expectations that we must then fudge our way through. That’s the fastest road towards losing yourself in motherhood. To help you thrive as a mother without any unnecessary feelings of guilt or inadequacy, we decided to bust the most common motherhood myths and limiting ideas. Hopefully, we’ll help you realize you’re doing a fantastic job and that your kid(s) is delighted to call YOU a mom.
Let’s bust the most common myths that are making motherhood miserable!
Even though we all know motherhood is not all sunshine and rainbows, there are plenty of modern motherhood myths that are making us strive to reach impossible standards and feel miserable in the process. Unfortunately, Instagram influencers and celebrities often only back up these myths. Somehow, we all seem to forget that it’s their job to make us feel like there’s always something more that we could and should do.
But we’re here to prove all of those limited and unrealistic beliefs wrong and help you realize you’re doing an amazing job. Whether you’re a mom who’s juggling motherhood with a successful career, a dedicated stay-at-home mom that’s always feeling like you could contribute more, or a single mom experiencing her own set of pressures, here are the most common myths you should immediately stop believing. Let’s start reframing your thinking!
#1 All women want to be mothers
Let’s start this list by breaking one of the most common myths about motherhood which is that all women are biologically predisposed to want to be mothers. This established belief puts a lot of pressure on women to want to have children. However, the reality is that some women simply don’t want any.
While a lot of women might have known their future kids’ names since they were in high school, there are plenty that simply doesn’t see themselves as moms. And that’s completely ok, as no woman should feel pressured to start a family simply because of her gender and biological predispositions.
#2 Motherhood means your personal life is over
Thankfully, that’s not how things work, even though most new moms feel this way. Adapting to new circumstances might mean you’ll have to put some things on hold, but it’s far from meaning that your social life is over. Those who truly consider themselves your friends will be there for you through and beyond this change.
On the other hand, you’ll also meet plenty of new people via this baby. On top of that, there are many online places where you could not just meet great moms like yourself but get some first-hand advice, too. You can learn a lot simply by joining one fabulous mom community.
#3 Mothers love being mothers 24/7
While it is crucial to find joy in the path of motherhood, the notion that time “passes by so fast” can engender guilt in mothers who are already struggling to get through the day. This is usually perpetuated by well-meaning older women whose children have long since left home. However, always remember that enjoying each and every second of motherhood is an impossibility, and it’s completely ok.
#4 Motherhood comes natural to every woman
While motherhood may come easily to some women, it can be challenging for others. After all, children of any age are constantly developing and changing, which requires you to continually adapt and adjust. Therefore, you shouldn’t beat yourself up if you can’t figure out what to do and how to handle certain circumstances immediately.
For instance, let’s say you’re about to relocate. Moving is often very stressful, but moving with kids can take that stress to a new level. All the tasks involved, such as decluttering and packing, are much more difficult because you’re trying to make it easier for them. Feeling overwhelmed and not knowing how to “properly” react immediately is entirely ok.
#5 You’re a failure if you can’t cope with the ideal mom image served by the media
The ability to think critically is invaluable in today’s post-truth society. However, sometimes there’s no way to tell if the news is accurate. What you are witnessing usually isn’t what it seems. In most cases, it’s an act put on for the sake of a photo on Instagram and attracting more followers.
So to quote the famous writer Helen Cullen: “Never compare your interior world to someone else’s exterior world.” Always remember that life is not Instagram. What you see online is carefully designed to make you feel a certain way and to, based on those feelings, make impulsive purchases.
#6 Moms with careers don’t love their kids as much
Intuition prompts some mothers to keep working so they can provide for their families in the most comprehensive way possible. Stigmatizing mothers who have to work outside the home is just as divisive and destructive as the reverse. Instead, we could decide to work on strengthening the parent-child bond in whatever ways work best for each family.
Focusing our efforts on social changes like benefits for part-time jobs, (much) longer maternity leave, and community-building programs is a lot more empowering place to put our energy than the current “mother wars,” which are undermining our ability to discern and create what we actually want.
Stop believing myths that are making motherhood miserable
We hope you enjoyed reading and, more importantly, that we made you stop believing all of those limited, some might say even misogynistic myths that are making motherhood miserable. Don’t forget to join the working mom community, as there, you’ll always be able to find the support and advice you might need.
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