I thought I would have mom guilt over working full-time and being away from my child for so many hours. Leaving my child is not easy and I do feel sad, especially when he clings to my leg! However, I have totally accepted the need for work week child care as my normal, and I am at peace with working and having to have childcare during the day. But there are other things I still have mom guilt over.
Things I have Mom Guilt over
Mom Guilt 1: Getting a babysitter so I can “play” on weekends.
I can accept needing child care during the week while I’m at work. But for some reason, I can’t seem to get over my aversion to getting extra child care on weekends. I don’t see my child much during the week (just a bit in the morning and the evening) so it just feels so wrong to then not spend time with him on weekends.
I’ve recently realized I probably need to get a sitter for my child once a month for my evening book club since he freaks out at all the people and being at someone’s home. But then I feel super guilty just thinking about that. My recent theater season just ended and did not renew my season tickets. This was for several reasons since I also felt like I just needed a break from it, but one of those reasons was that I felt bad asking our nanny to work an extra day. I feel bad since she already works long hours 5 days a week.
I also feel guilty about paying for child care when I am perfectly fine at caring for my child myself at that time. Even having this guilt makes me feel guilty. Why do I have this guilt? Don’t I deserve time to myself?
Mom Guilt 2: Hiring a maid.
What is it about paying someone for a task I really could and should do myself that is such a source of guilt for me? I hate cleaning, and I’m not really all that good at it. I’ve never considered myself a good housekeeper. I’d rather pay attention to my child then stick him in a playpen while I clean around him.
So why does it feel uncomfortable for me to hire a cleaning service? I can’t tell you the answer to that, but I very rarely do this. This reminds me though that my home is way overdue for a good cleaning. Guess I should get over this guilt thing and get someone on the schedule.
Mom Guilt 3: Being so tired on weekends that we don’t go out as much.
This one isn’t as silly as the previous two, and I’m sure many people can relate. Taking a young toddler out anywhere is mentally and physically draining and sometimes is no fun at all when the monster beastie awakens inside your child and takes over your activity.
I work all day and my commute is long, so evenings are almost nonexistent for us. We do go for walks when I get home from work almost every evening because that’s healthy for us both and helps the little one get to sleep.
But weekends – I know I should do more with him. Sometimes I am just so tired though that we sit at home and he runs circles around me. Other times we do make plans to go do something that is fun, even for a short while.
I want to do more fun weekend activities with my baby boy, but I don’t always have the willpower or energy – especially by myself.
What does Mom Guilt look like for you? Tell me about it!
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