My husband and I have now been married for 10 years. Wow! I can hardly believe we are already celebrating our 10-year anniversary, though the time we actually spent together is much less than 10 years. But nevermind that, that’s just military wife life. Last year I reminisced about our wedding journey and shared our story. This year I thought I’d share a few lessons.
Lessons I Learned in our 10 Years of Marriage
- Rely on each other. Especially if you, like us, move far away from any family. For a very long time, we had no family in Texas, with long travel required to see either set of our families. We really were all each other had, and we relied heavily on each other for support and encouragement. And bailing each other out of trouble – who else is going to come pick you up when your car breaks down?
- Communicate. Getting on the same page on something is hard enough without the added bonus of not fully understanding the other person’s position. Talk it out, talk it through, and be ready to make decisions together.
- You won’t always agree. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree and find a common happy compromise that works for everyone.
- Life is unpredictable. Maybe this should go as #1 ha. You build toward one goal only to later realize your goals don’t align and now you need to make changes. That’s what’s happening in our lives as we speak – major changes coming this summer. You make plans, and then need to tweak them. Continue to tweak them to fit the life you want to create.
- Having a child changes you fundamentally. Having a child teaches you a lot about each other, yourself, and the world around you. You learn what you can handle and find a new appreciation for each other as parents.
- Balance strengths and weaknesses. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses and if we can hone our strength where our partner is not as strong, we can keep our household and lives running smoothly. Example? My husband cooks because I kind of suck at it. But, I do the cleaning cause he just can’t notice the dirt as well. Balance.
- Have your own hobbies and interests. Being together as a married couple is wonderful, but so is having your own fun apart. I love book clubs and going to the theater, with my female friends. He goes hunting with his buddy.
- Have regular date nights. It is so important to remember to find time to focus on each other and your relationship. Life gets busy, I get that. But we can’t let everything else get in the way that we never spend time together, either. Even date nights at home while children are playing or napping are wonderful.
- You won’t always be together. This is especially true for us military couples (this past year has been rough but I survived) but there can be many other job-related reasons one spouse or the other has to travel and be away from family, leaving the other to wear all the hats. Have a plan to make it work.
- Let perfectionism go and enjoy life together. This is true with kids and for husbands who like to leave their socks on the floor. But the key here is that life isn’t perfect and we shouldn’t strive to make it so. Instead, enjoy the little moments, the silly quirks, and laugh.