10 Fears I Had Before Having a Baby

Posted October 13, 2015 by Julie in Pregnancy / 23 Comments

Today is Face Your Fears Day so we are talking all about things that scare us, or have scared us in the past. I thought I would talk about my fears about having children, since it was something I was scared about for so long (before I finally agreed to try it on for size).

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10 Fears I Had Before Having a Baby

  1. I was scared about pregnancy in general. Would my body be able to handle all those changes? Was I healthy enough? As it turned out, yes, my body did just fine for the most part. Gestational Diabetes was the only issue, and that was toward the end and wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Though now I wonder if I’ll have it again in a future pregnancy.
  2. I was worried about the sickness. Would I be constantly throwing up? I hate throwing up. I didn’t once break my no puking rule, but I did feel sick most days, especially in the evenings for a while.
  3. I was absolutely terrified about labor and delivery. There are just so many wildcards that can come at you and you really can’t predict or control your birth. Will I be able to handle the pain, even with all the drugs?  As it turns out, I had to get induced because of the diabetes so nothing went like I expected. Also, they turned off my epidural when it came time to push, and that was just awful. I’ll be carrying this fear with me to a future pregnancy. 
  4. I worried whether I’d be able to really love a little stranger or if I would resent his or her presence in my life. I know, totally didn’t need to worry about that. Though now I worry how will I be able to love another baby like I love this one.
  5. I was scared of the newborn phase. The tiny delicate little baby that could be so easy to accidentally hurt – I never really held babies before.  Instinct took over and the little tiny babies are actually tougher than they look.
  6. The sleepless nights terrified me too. Would I be able to handle the sleep deprivation and still be able to care for the child? The sleepless nights were quite awful. I’ll carry that one with me to the next one. But somehow I survived that with my sanity intact.
  7. I worried about breastfeeding, whether I’d be able to do it and how much of a commitment that would be. As it turns out, my body is kind of failing in this one, though I’m still trying to give him at least the few ounces I do produce. I’ll be worried about this next time too, pretty much expecting my body to fail again.
  8. I worried about parenting in general. Will I be able to make the right decisions? Will I raise the child well? This fear will just continue for the rest of forever, won’t it?
  9. I was worried about loss of my control. I like to plan and feel like I’m in control of  the direction my life is taking, but children bring so many variables to the equation of life, that all that planning can go out the window. Yep, but I’ve gotten better about letting go of the control needs.
  10. I feared my loss of identity the most. Would I still be able to be me, have my own interests and hobbies, or would I only be “___’s Mom”? I’m working on not making this the case. It is very hard to have your own time with a baby, but I try to take time to myself occasionally when I can. 

 

The Golden Spoons Tuesday 10
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JuliepicI'm Julie, a new mom who works full time and blogs, all while wishing I had more time to read fun books. I write about being a first time working mom in order to help myself and other working moms in our journeys to find balance between family, responsibilities, and hobbies so we can thrive both at home and at work.
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23 responses to “10 Fears I Had Before Having a Baby

  1. In all honesty I hated being pregnant both times, I felt huge queasy, hot and uncomfortable but oh my word the results of both those pregnancies were more than worth it.
    Thanks for linking up to #TenThings lovely, have a great Christmas
    Stevie x

  2. Such a great list and i’m sure there were many more that would make it on to this list. My biggest fear (with my twin boys) was how I was logistically going to feed, move and carry two babies at once. Instincts and my loving husband helped me find a way. #justanotherlinky

  3. Was it therapeutic getting these down? Having a child is not a piece of cake, woman … :-). My word, so many variables, so many changes, so many things to consider; so defineing, so lasting, so everything. One of the pluses of my inability to look too far beyond my pregnancy was my lack of attention to potential fears; howerver, breastfeeding illiteracy was one of its downsides, though. #CommentLuv

  4. Those are all pretty realistic fears. I think just spelling them out makes them a bit easier to handle. I was worried about going from one to two, but it worked out fine and the third was easy!

  5. Such a great list! The biggest fear that I had was in my second pregnancy…I came down with full blown chicken pox in my first trimester. The doctor’s had to do some investigation to give me possible complications. I was petrified, but was blessed to have all come out fine with a beautiful healthy baby boy. Have a great week!

  6. Oh yes. So much. I hate throwing up too, as you now know about me!
    I didn’t have gestational diabetes but I failed the first test spectacularly. It was a fluke in the end but I still pricked my finger until six weeks after the baby was born just to make sure. I feared childbirth like nothing else! And it wasn’t even the hardest part in the long run. The second was even easier!

    • When I was pushing, or I should say clenching my entire body so that’s why the baby didn’t come out for a few hours because I didn’t know how to push… I got very nauseous. The nurse told me go ahead and throw up, you’ll feel better. That shocked me so much that the feeling went away. No. Throwing up because of hormone overload can’t make you feel better since you’re not getting rid of food that made you sick, so no. NO thanks. Glad we’re on the same page about that. I sure hope the second birth is easier!!! Thanks Tamara 🙂

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