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10 Fears I Had Before Having a Baby

October 13, 2015 by Julie 24 Comments

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For Face Your Fears Day, we are talking all about things that scare us, or have scared us in the past. I thought I would talk about my fears about having children since it was something I was scared about for so long (before I finally agreed to try it on for size).

10 Fears I Had Before Having a Baby

My Fears Before Having a Baby

1. I was scared about pregnancy in general. Would my body be able to handle all those changes? Was I healthy enough? As it turned out, yes, my body did just fine for the most part. Gestational Diabetes was the only issue, and that was toward the end and wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Though now I wonder if I’ll have it again in a future pregnancy.

2. I was worried about the sickness. Would I be constantly throwing up? I hate throwing up. I didn’t once break my no puking rule, but I did feel sick most days, especially in the evenings for a while.

3. I was absolutely terrified about labor and delivery. There are just so many wildcards that can come at you and you really can’t predict or control your birth. Will I be able to handle the pain, even with all the drugs?  As it turns out, I had to get induced because of gestational diabetes, so nothing went the way I expected. Also, they turned off my epidural when it came time to push, and that was just awful. I’ll be carrying this fear with me to a future pregnancy. 

its ok to be terrified of childbirth


4. I worried whether I’d be able to really love a little stranger or if I would resent his or her presence in my life. I know, totally didn’t need to worry about that. Though now I worry how will I be able to love another baby like I love this one.

5. I was scared of the newborn phase. The tiny delicate little baby that could be so easy to accidentally hurt – I never really held babies before.  Instinct took over and the little tiny babies are actually tougher than they look.

6. The sleepless nights terrified me too. Would I be able to handle the sleep deprivation and still be able to care for the child? The sleepless nights were quite awful. I’ll carry that one with me to the next one. But somehow I survived that with my sanity intact.

Recommended Post:  Breastfeeding: 5 Things You Need to Know to Prepare

7. I worried about breastfeeding, whether I’d be able to do it, and how much of a commitment that would be. As it turns out, my body is kind of failing in this one, though I’m still trying to give him at least the few ounces I do produce. I’ll be worried about this next time too, pretty much expecting my body to fail again.

8. I worried about parenting in general. Will I be able to make the right decisions? Will I raise the child well? This fear will just continue for the rest of forever, won’t it?

9. I was worried about the loss of my control. I like to plan and feel like I’m in control of the direction my life is taking, but children bring so many variables to the equation of life, that all that planning can go out the window. Yep, but I’ve gotten better about letting go of the control needs.

10. I feared my loss of identity the most. Would I still be able to be me, have my own interests and hobbies, or would I only be “___’s Mom”? I’m working on not making this the case. It is very hard to have your own time with a baby, but I try to take time to myself occasionally when I can. Having my career helps a lot with identity, too.

 

New Moms – do you share these fears? Or what fears did you have before having a baby? I’d love to know!

 

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Categories: Memes, Pregnancy

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Comments

  1. Medit says

    November 24, 2020 at 3:39 am

    Many moms can relate to this 🙂

    Reply
  2. A Cornish Mum says

    December 13, 2015 at 6:05 pm

    In all honesty I hated being pregnant both times, I felt huge queasy, hot and uncomfortable but oh my word the results of both those pregnancies were more than worth it.
    Thanks for linking up to #TenThings lovely, have a great Christmas
    Stevie x

    Reply
    • Julie says

      December 14, 2015 at 11:10 am

      Pregnancy definitely isn’t an easy time, but neither is the fourth trimester, or fifth or sixth lol

      Reply
  3. Sabrina (The Mummy Stylist) says

    October 27, 2015 at 4:50 pm

    I can relate to all of these! And all of those fears didn’t really materialise except for labour – it really was that bad! x
    #tenthings

    Reply
    • Julie says

      October 27, 2015 at 5:07 pm

      Yes it was! Thanks Sabrina:)

      Reply
  4. Louisa says

    October 27, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    Great list… I can empathise with them all but especially number 9. Losing control was my biggest fear. #tenthings

    Reply
    • Julie says

      October 27, 2015 at 5:08 pm

      We like to be in control of what happens to us, even though we can’t be huh? Thanks Louisa!

      Reply
  5. martyn says

    October 26, 2015 at 4:50 am

    Great post ! I think many pregnant women would completely empathise with this! Hope it helps them to not feel so alone in it. #tenthings

    Reply
    • Julie says

      October 27, 2015 at 1:21 pm

      Being able to commiserate and have that “you too?” feeling with someone else is great 🙂

      Reply
  6. Something Crunchy Mummy says

    October 22, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    Great list and I’m sure every pregnant women has felt like this at one point. Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx

    Reply
  7. Christine Kenny says

    October 20, 2015 at 1:31 am

    Such a great list and i’m sure there were many more that would make it on to this list. My biggest fear (with my twin boys) was how I was logistically going to feed, move and carry two babies at once. Instincts and my loving husband helped me find a way. #justanotherlinky

    Reply
    • Julie says

      October 20, 2015 at 6:19 am

      Oh that is a really legitimate fear, Moms need to have more than one pair of hands with twins for sure. Thanks Christine 🙂

      Reply
  8. Adventures of a Novice Mum says

    October 18, 2015 at 1:01 am

    Was it therapeutic getting these down? Having a child is not a piece of cake, woman … :-). My word, so many variables, so many changes, so many things to consider; so defineing, so lasting, so everything. One of the pluses of my inability to look too far beyond my pregnancy was my lack of attention to potential fears; howerver, breastfeeding illiteracy was one of its downsides, though. #CommentLuv

    Reply
    • Julie says

      October 20, 2015 at 6:22 am

      Definitely so everything, but that’s good that you didn’t pay attention to many potential fears 🙂

      Reply
  9. Rabia @TheLiebers says

    October 14, 2015 at 2:08 pm

    Those are all pretty realistic fears. I think just spelling them out makes them a bit easier to handle. I was worried about going from one to two, but it worked out fine and the third was easy!

    Reply
    • Julie says

      October 16, 2015 at 2:12 pm

      I’m worried about going from one to two! Thanks Rabia 🙂

      Reply
  10. Gingi says

    October 13, 2015 at 11:05 pm

    I had all those same fears! It’s amazing how fear can melt away to joy and peace and faith when a baby arrives! <3 – http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com

    Reply
    • Julie says

      October 16, 2015 at 2:12 pm

      Truth! 🙂 Somehow that little baby can make you feel so relaxed and happy. Thanks Gingi!

      Reply
  11. Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says

    October 13, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    I wasn’t that scared before I had kids because I was blissfully ignorant. 🙂 I’ve had three kids now and if I found out I was pregnant again (NOT GOING OT HAPPEN!) I would be terrified!

    Reply
    • Julie says

      October 16, 2015 at 2:13 pm

      Blissfully ignorant is good though, keeps you from unnecessary worrying. Thanks Lisa 🙂

      Reply
  12. Stacey Gannett says

    October 13, 2015 at 5:02 pm

    Such a great list! The biggest fear that I had was in my second pregnancy…I came down with full blown chicken pox in my first trimester. The doctor’s had to do some investigation to give me possible complications. I was petrified, but was blessed to have all come out fine with a beautiful healthy baby boy. Have a great week!

    Reply
    • Julie says

      October 16, 2015 at 2:15 pm

      Yikes, chicken pox is scary enough without being pregnant. Glad everything turned out ok! Thanks Stacey!

      Reply
  13. Tamara says

    October 13, 2015 at 2:21 pm

    Oh yes. So much. I hate throwing up too, as you now know about me!
    I didn’t have gestational diabetes but I failed the first test spectacularly. It was a fluke in the end but I still pricked my finger until six weeks after the baby was born just to make sure. I feared childbirth like nothing else! And it wasn’t even the hardest part in the long run. The second was even easier!

    Reply
    • Julie says

      October 13, 2015 at 2:30 pm

      When I was pushing, or I should say clenching my entire body so that’s why the baby didn’t come out for a few hours because I didn’t know how to push… I got very nauseous. The nurse told me go ahead and throw up, you’ll feel better. That shocked me so much that the feeling went away. No. Throwing up because of hormone overload can’t make you feel better since you’re not getting rid of food that made you sick, so no. NO thanks. Glad we’re on the same page about that. I sure hope the second birth is easier!!! Thanks Tamara 🙂

      Reply

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About Julie

Julie of Fab Working Mom Life Welcome! My name is Julie :) I am a Texan living in Hawaii (military life). I'm a mom, a blogger, and also work full-time in environmental compliance. I write about being a working mom to help myself and other working moms in our journey to find a balance between our family, responsibilities, and hobbies. I do this because we moms need a support network to thrive both at home and at work.

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